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Saturday, January 7, 2017

Moving On From A Bad Breakup? Here's how...

By: Ymatruz | Filed under: |

It is ten o'clock in the morning and you are still in bed, lying on your stomach, groggy with swollen eyes. You feel your heart as heavy as the bunch of dishes overflowing in your kitchen sink.

You don't want to get up. Not thinking of taking a refreshing shower or even fill your empty stomach with the morning bagels sitting on the counter for a week. Your only comfort, it is a Saturday and "Thankfully. Oh, in holy goodness!" – you don't need to work.

Then, you move your feet, slowly turn your head and you find your best friend Angela still sleeping at the end of your bed, snoring with one arm hanging on the bedside. Like you, she fell asleep without remembering how long did both of you stay up from the most intoxicating night of your lives.

Last night was not your ordinary boozy Friday. You are heart broken and doing anything at all isn't in your agenda today. You are attempting to recover from a painful heartbreak which no amount of wine can compensate.

You started to think about the previous night, grateful that your friend came to see you when you called her about your serious break-up stories with Mr. X, your boyfriend of two years. When you need a company, she is always there and you keep on weaving endless theories of many "why and what if" might have caused your relationship to fail or what could help to have your ex-love back.

If you care to ask me, the answer is – DO NOTHING.

Except, get back on your feet and face the world. There are more and better love opportunities coming your way. The bad feeling that you have right now, it will pass. No doubt. It is proven 100%.

Do not pretend like it is OK. But, LIVE like it is OK. If you could avoid the events that trigger the memories of the past, it will be very helpful. Do not hesitate. Do not move backwards.

Think like a man, so that you can easily let go of that beating pain inside your heart. Stand by your decision that you will not initiate any contact to your ex anytime soon. I know, it takes a will to do it. However, if you love yourself more, moving on becomes achievable.

Crying is normal. It is when you cry that you could ease the hurting. But thinking about what happened over and over again and talking about it repeatedly, with your group of friends, will not heal your broken heart. The faster way for healing, ACCEPTANCE. The relationship is over and accept it.

A man who really loves you and wants you around will run to you to have you back in his arms.

Prepare your self for the next one who will come along. But, I have to tell you – you must have your goals set – what are your expectations this time?

One key to a lasting relationship is setting your expectations at the early stage of dating. Don't expect a man will propose a marriage, if having family was not listed to his future plans. If you want a serious relationship and he offers a friendship, say "thank you, but you already have enough friends" and walk away. Next, please.

Lay your cards on the table, if possible, during the first date.

It is when our expectations are not met, that we feel rejected or denied at the end, causing us the pain. Both a man and a woman who know what they want, will have to work together to achieve the goals in their relationship.

If you see an early sign of a one-way efforts of love, do not turn a blind eye. Talk about it and from there, decide to stay or cut the string of "couple-ness."

Whatever decision you will make, review your expectations and start again. Until eventually, you grow and become a master of your own love life. Since, you are aware of what you really wanted to gain in association with an opposite partner, the pain caused by a relationship failure –  if it happens – will be manageable.

Of course, you could always have a drink wine with your best friend. But this time – it will be a cozy drink while you smile – either to celebrate your freedom or leave the bar with an exciting plan for the next true love hunt.

Go, girl!



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