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Saturday, December 31, 2016

Goodbye 2016: A Year End Reflection

By: Ymatruz | Filed under: |

How I missed blogging and it has been just a week. I had to take care of my partner after a surgery and so I promised to concentrate to his healing process before starting another writing task or further my career plan.

I knew I would struggle watching over any sign of post-surgical symptoms which most likely would be missed if I focused to my keyboard. Not only it is my duty to look after him – but also it is a worthwhile and rare chance of longer bonding time over the holidays –  to spend exclusively with a loved one.

"We are good people who do bad things."

I'd say year 2016 was a fairly good year. I looked back on setbacks that came and I was grateful for the lessons this year had given me. A year of happiness and confusion. A year of blessings and afflictions. A year of hope. A year to welcome a calling and being dependent to one's self. A year of filtering - some people out of my life.  No brakes, sorry.

In my decades of existence, I learned to survive. A deep contemplation occurred to me that two of the keys for financial independence are to live within your means and to learn to budget yourself. The experiences I had from the previous years opened my eyes.

Year 2016 offered different sets of pondering. And here are my thoughts for the end of this year.

To value someone means being around them through ups and downs - but I take a stand against childish jealousy, emotional vampires, monetary hinters, attention-seekers or too controlling people. We should remember, each of us are fighting our own storms. Not everyone in our lives might be available on the time we need them.  Not unless - it is intentional that they turn their back on you as a revenge over a favor you declined.

Ah, we are all humans.

"Two people cannot always be friends. Two friends cannot always be together. But that doesn't mean one has to talk crap about the other behind her back."

When you need someone to talk to, consider this, what if your friend is dealing with her own demons silently? That she loves his family and friends so much to burden them with her own thing. That it is a big deal for her to grow up and to depend on herself. It's not selfishness. It is called self-reliance.

Or what if, your persistent communication are only bringing excessive negativity to your friend's life? Have you thought that maybe, your friendship is dragging your friend to your own problems - marriage, money, kids? If you are seeking a therapy, your friend may not be the right person to handle it. Leave a space for her to breathe. She, maybe is giving a signal how she value independence. She could be tired of her own life issues, that hearing your consistent complaints which you refuse to accept the solutions, is much overwhelming.

There is a saying: "True friends doesn't need daily conversations, doesn't always need togetherness, as long as love lives in the heart, true friendship never departs." And for me, the same is true for family relationships.

To have healthy friendships or family relationships, I figured the best way to lessen hurting is to expect less or nothing at all. Somehow, this is something I'd started years ago and I'm halfway in mastering it.

There is no perfect life. Nobody is perfect. All of us have errors on our judgement. "We are good people who do bad things." Hercule Poirot taught me this.

The end of the year is a catalyst for self-reflection. To those whom they thought I might have caused them some toxic times, I apologized. This I tell you, in a relationship, sometimes healthy boundaries are necessary to block damaging energies that drain your water. So, acting as a defense mechanism, my silent treatment isn't always a bad thing. I was born with it.

Happy New Year everyone!



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